I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
