Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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