The maid of honor just puked.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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