Don't you send me to vm
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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