He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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