I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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