I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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