So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you would pick up someone in the library
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
