I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize