you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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