is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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