She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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