I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
