but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
