I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
