Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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