This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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