I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
