Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
