yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
