You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pooping to opera.
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