If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Randomize
