The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
