Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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