so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
