This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
