You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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