Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
