I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
