Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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