You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
