what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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