need another drink. this is the easiest way
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
