Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
