two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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