I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
