Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize