Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When are your genitals available?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
