thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
