I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
