the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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