if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
