Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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