Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize