Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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