one two three fourrrrnication!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
