can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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