This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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