Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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