She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
