just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
