I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
