New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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