The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
