she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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