# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
