she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize