The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
