My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
