You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
