I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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