So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
